“Letting go” are two simple words. Irony of it though is that people find it one of the hardest things to do. People can’t move on from broken relationships, they grieve over that someone who has left them, they plant so much anger that it prevents them to loosen up a bit, indeed there are so much circumstantial events that would make letting go of something, the hardest that you could make.
But no, it is not only in love that you will have to learn how to let go. Life gave me a salient lesson recently, that there are many other things in your life that would require you to let go of, especially opportunities.
Let me take you back few weeks ago, around first week of April this year, I applied for an international conference. After being idle from participating different conferences, it was just that time that I got enough courage to apply once more. I know my chances might be slim considering that I have laid low in participating different events, and especially that the program was from a reputed organization so it is expected that a rigorous and thorough screening of participants would really take place.
Perhaps because of beginner’s luck, I got qualified for the initial screening of qualifiers. After learning that, I went into a happy-frightened state of mind. Happy that of all the people who might have submitted their applications, I was able to go through the first screening and frightened because there may be some additional tasks that might be done couple that with pessimism that clouded the way of thinking that I had during those times.
Despite all of those, I still tried because that’s what life has taught me, to never stop trying. Not to mention that I did it an hour before the set deadline because I only got to know that I qualified for the next screening two days after they have sent me the email. Too much for luck eh?
Another work opportunity came, it enticed me to devote my free time in it because not only would I be allowed to travel to different places, but I took it also as an opportunity to know my place more, and know the people more. Long story short, I lost track on my application for that conference.
For days, I have not heard from them, not a single email, not a phone call, not anything. Thinking that I have not qualified at all, one day, I left my phone inside my bag in a hotel while we were on our way to a location that was half an hour from the city, when I came back, to my surprise a foreign number called. Two days later, my phone was just sitting in the sofa while I was busy talking to a manager, another foreign number called, and bad luck as it may be, when I was about to answer the call, it stopped ringing, the caller just hung up. Damn touch screen phones for giving me a hard time picking up a call.
At that precise moment, I told myself, it was really a wasted opportunity. I remember Sunday of that same week, one church mate was wearing a polo shirt bearing the lines, “Opportunities are usually missed by people”. Maybe it was a premonition or a warning that could have alerted me, but it didn’t and I was not expecting how the turn of events would go. That time, I wanted to curse every curse, stop what I was doing, and I know that I was on the verge of becoming irrational. In short, I was very upset and disappointed but because I don’t want my group mates to know, so I kept it to myself. When I opened my email that night, I just learned that I received a congratulatory email saying that I qualified and they would be contacting me as soon as possible.
Right now, I am still in deep regrets. Regretting why I did not bring my phone with me. Regretting why I just let my phone lay down in the sofa. Regretting that if I just hastened sliding my fingers through that touch panel of my phone, I could have answered the call.
A friend told me to let go of it, he even said, “They will not call you back, better if you try to call them yourself”. But it’s hard. You know why it’s hard? It’s hard because it is like losing a competition that you so know that you are winning. Losing a competition where you are best at. Losing a competition where you have invested so much that because of a single mistake, you can no longer redeem yourself back.
It’s game over, I know. And sometimes, just like love, it’s hard to win back that girl again, in my case, the lost opportunity.