So far it has been a busy semester for me. Very busy that I have forgotten to update my blog and you dear followers as to what is happening in my life and my environment. Each day, life gives us countless lessons, lessons we sometimes take for granted, lessons that we are always reminded of, lessons that we do follow. Here are some lessons or realizations I’ve had in the past days.
I’m in the second half of the first semester yet I am still uncertain with my future for this semester. Future, whether I’d be able to pass all of my subjects, or not. Unlike the past sems that I had in this school, never and not a single time in this semester did I feel confident with my scores and with my over-all performance, as I was assessing myself in the first half of the sem. Indeed, what those “then third year” students have been telling us were nothing but factual. The third year life is the most excruciating, most dragging, most pain in the ass, most difficult life you’d have in Velez, or at least, if you’re a MedTech student in Velez. I know that my scores are of the mediocre level, of which I know I could have done better had I been more motivated to study harder. It has even reached to a point where I was about to give up on this one subject. Good thing, one classmate told me not to, because there’s still chance to make it up for the subject. I’m trying my very best now, and I hope I’d succeed.
STD vs. Marriage
In one subjects that I have, I learned that annulment of marriage can be pursued if one partner is seriously-ill, particulary with Sexually Transmitted Disease, it has been provided by the jurisprudence that if the STD is deemed incurable. I threw a question to my friends one night, “If you found out that your partner contracted an incurable STD while you were still not married would you file for annulment or would you uphold the sanctity of marriage?”, I received a lot of responses.
However, there could be no denying that if I am confronted with the situation, I would find it hard to have a firm decision as to what to do, and when the question was thrown back at me, I could hardly give an answer, so here’s my two cents about it.
Hiding your health status from your partner or your wife is one selfish act. The society expects that a couple who would have planned to enter into marriage, is a couple who has already known each other that well, as marriage is never an easy endeavor, as it takes two grown up people to enter into a lifelong relationship. It is also expected from them to be transparent to each other, by that, no secrets, no lies and health status is never an exception to that. Finding out that your partner has an incurable STD, I repeat, is a selfish act and is similar to stabbing the back of your partner. But when you’re already married, it makes things complicated. If you follow the pact, “in sickness and in health”, you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable situation by risking one’s health. If you choose to let go of the marriage it’s trivializing the sanctity of marriage.
So my stand to this, and as liberal as I can be, is to stay within the marriage. First, there are ways to prevent contraction of the STD such as using contraceptives or having less sexual encounters, for sure both of you would understand that you need to at least sacrifice. Second, you must understand that you have loved and of course you still love this person, and by the time you exchanged vows, you are expected to accept her, the whole of her and not just some parts of her. Third, if you really love her, it’s a battle worth taking, for love requires you being selfless not only in times of happiness but also in times of trials. If she has become selfish for not telling you her current situation, you don’t need to be selfish as well by not giving her the love and support that she needs. Give it to her. Yes, I know it’s easier said than done.
Delineating and straightening
I am not getting any younger, this year, I just turned 18, of course, the legal age. Who can ever get this out of one’s mind? I am 18, but it seems to me that one can’t really see an “18” person in me. Not with the looks of course, but the actuations. I’m childish still, and I can say that I still don’t have concrete priorities in life. Now, it has hit me, hit me in the sense that I should be trying to delineate and straighten up priorities in life. Priorities that are attainable, priorities that aren’t selfish in nature. During childhood, or even the teenage, early teenage to be exact, we live just as carefree as we could wish for, we don’t care much of our future, we just enjoy as each day unfurls, but things change when you start to reach the legal age. You’re no longer under the skirt of your parents, you live not under them but coexisting with them, you have an independent world but coexistence never gets out of the picture.
Right now, I feel so selfish of not having some concrete priorities in life, and now more than ever is the right time to correct it. I’m in the process of segregating every bits and bytes into “true priorities” and “untimely priorities”. True are those that I need in order to succeed in life, the prerequisites in attaining what I want, who I want to become in life, and untimely are those priorities that can wait. I need to do this now, otherwise, I’ll be haunted with regrets in the future.
Unrequited feeling is like giving something that is not returned or rewarded. In studies, it would make you feel bad especially if you have done your best or it would not matter to you if you have not done better, or you have no great effort at all because the effect is apparent. In relationships and marriage, if it is present, it’s one important benchmark to check whether relationship’s working out or not, unrequited love, or trust, is truly selfish and in order not to feel this way must you give love and trust without reservations. In priorities, setting what is due for you, and what you need the most will let you evade the situation of unrequitedness. You will be rewarded and your efforts would be paid back if you have chosen the right priority.