How is it being a SALOMON?

Some of my cousins..

I was born from a big family. I am one of the more or less 20 grandchildren. I have 20 aunts and uncles and of course a pair of parents and a pair grandparents.

When I was child, I really didn’t have an idea how your family can greatly affect you. I thought it was just a name, and there’s nothing more to it. I didn’t know what lies behind- the family ties, the relationship, the bond. It was like you’ll get to know them and that’s it. When you get to see your aunts/uncles, you pay respect, and that’s it. But I was wrong.

When I was growing up, elementary days those were, everything’s kind of getting clear to me. That family is important, that the ties are significant, that the relationship was innate to everyone. That being a Salomon must I be proud of.

I remember those people close to the family always admire us because like what they say, my father and his siblings were brought up by my grandparents in the best way that they could. Respectful, loving, caring, and all the good adjectives you can say.  I am in no objection to that. They add also that my grandparents were the best parents they want to model their parenthood with, because despite a big number, they were able to let their children grow holistically, and they were able to send them to school. One aunt of mine is now a Physician. 3 others including my dad is an Optometrist. The rest earned their respective degrees as well.

Because of those praises, our family bedazzled me. I thought that ours were the perfect one. Ours was always the best example. Ours is how I wanted my future family should be. Turns out? Ours was never the perfect one, ours was never the best example.

There is never a single perfect family and I’ve known that when I was in high school.  Throughout my life, I have thought that our family was the perfect one just like what I said, but as I learned more, I understood life more; I came to know that those were just hallucinations perhaps.

In the family, there were a lot of indifferences. There even came a point that we felt (our own family) that we were the black sheep among the others. We felt that there were relatives, cousins, who were against us. We felt the partiality. There even came a point that we felt helpless. Then I blamed the cliché “The family helps one another” for disappointing making me believe it though it was just too good to be true that time.

There was also a point that I was so jealous of my cousins because they are this close to our grandparents. My grandparents from the other side have gone to heaven already even before I was born. I felt like my grandparents didn’t like me or didn’t appreciate me. I can’t blame them though; I was this naughty boy before. I was loath perhaps by everyone. When I was young, I didn’t bring awards and recognitions unlike some of my cousins. I was this spoiled child of my parents. It was as if all the negative traits a child could have were in me.

You may not get what I want to say. But imagine you’re in my shoes. Being one of the 20 or more grandchildren is pretty hard. I say there may be a cold war, though that’s an exaggeration, between us. We kids may not necessarily have to fight one another, but getting the attention of our grandparents really needs some tactics. And ever since, I was defeated in such.

But those were the days.

Now I have accepted the fact that I am yet just another grandchild of them. I have likewise accepted the idea that sometimes there are people way better than you.

I have also learned how to forgive but not forget. Forgive because after all, we still have the same blood rushing through our veins, we all came from our own grandparents.  No matter how many misunderstandings went and will soon to come, no matter how much heartache one can cause to another, we are still the family of HENRY SALOMON after all.

But why forget not? I beg to differ in forgetting everything because those pains that have marked leave not only scars but lessons as well. And if one forgets, then one may forget the lessons learned too.

How is it being a Salomon? Unique and worth being proud of.

I know I shall bring this name until my last breath. But I am proud now, that at least, I have awakened from those thoughts about our family that, I know, will never happen. Salomon may not be the perfect family, but I am proud to be part of it.

Enjoying the christmas together..
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6 thoughts on “How is it being a SALOMON?

  1. “I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one. ”
    ~ Henry Ward Beecher

    dear james i am glad you are so expressive of your feelings and you write so well in expressing your emotions about your ups and downs relationship with your mommyla (grandma).

    you see james you are one of the most intelligent apos our parents ever had and we are equally proud of you and all of your cousins. i do hope you would not totally misconstrued your mommyla simply because she is more closer to your other cousins and not you. there is no competition here. Almost at 80 your mommyla may not have the energy to go about all 20 or so apos she has. Whoever she is with physically doesnt mean they are the only people she likes. She cant help it, she is physically not capable of being in too many places at a given time. Her movement is now limited. Kaya kayo na mga apo kayo na ang lumapit sa kanya.

    James i can totally understand what you’re feeling coz even me…i am one of the many daughters Henry and Cristita Salomon had. I share the same resentment when i was younger having to fight for attention and affection because we were just too many in our brood. But i had outgrown that feeling. Now that i have become a parent myself i understood what a parent feels. I only have 2 young sons and i have difficulty dividing my time between them because they are apart. But God knows how much i want to spend time equally with each of both. Imagine the case of your mommyla and daddylo. just too many of us wanting and needing their attention. Moreso now that daddylo is gone ahead of us to heaven, mommyla’s eneries has dwindled low. So let us just understand her mobility pace.

    My suggestion james is for you to take time to build a unique bond with your mommyla. maybe give her a regular call (one piso call juz to say hello or kamusta) would not make you a pauper. Or maybe send her sms should you get hundreds of free sms and want to rid them off your mobile loads. bombard her with numerous sms and im sure she will remember you more often than anyone else. Just dont send her messages via facebook or twitter or thru blogs, she’ll never appreciate it. you know her.. how she loathes anything interactive or digital. You see james if people cant come to us due to some reasons,,we take the steps to go to them. especially to an 80 year old grandma who needs more attention now than ever. I think mommy will cherish that kind of extra affection she will get from her apos like you.

    You also mentioned somewhere in your blog that you had past resentments against relatives who you thought had been impartial with your family, james im sure you know that forgiveness means letting go of the past. i hope you would reconsider putting away that emotion. see my quote above. if you truly want to have total healing from your resentful past learn to forgive those who have wronged you or hurt you. Luoise Hay once said “We may not know how to forgive, and we may not want to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice.”

    I want to let you know james that all of us your mommyla, titos and titas are very proud of all of you including you. Why??? because we not only share the same name SALOMON…we have the same blood running in our veins. Thats why….

    On a personal note i wanna ocngratulate you for being a good pamangkin, a creative writer and for maintaining a well written blogsite. I knew in my heart you will one day become a fine writer aside from becoming a fine doctor at John Hopkins Medical Centre. You are truly gifted with gab and literal excellence. USe those talents to radiate the lessons of forgiveness and love. Your talent can be put to good use in disseminating God’s love in many subjects you write here. We are truly proud of you. Do remember that. God bless – your tita bisayababe

    …also remember “To FORGIVE is the highest, most beautiful form of LOVE. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

    1. Thanks Tita for giving me advices. Personally, I already have outgrown those jealousy feelings against some cousins. I know that was such a childish emotion but now, I already have understood why is it like this and why is it like that.

      I know also that it’s better to forgive and forget. What I was pointing out on not forgetting were the lessons ought to be inculcated. Because those lessons are what God wanted us to learn after having such experiences.

      I’m lucky to be part of a family that is proud of me. I may have misconstrued that I am not loved, that everyone’s maybe not proud of me, but at least now, I have known that mommyla and there are aunts, uncles, cousins who are proud of me.

      Like what I said in my blog, I am proud to be part of this family. Ours may not be a perfect one, but I know our family is making me proud of it in a way that the family is proud of me too.

  2. Did I just see a bottle of Coca Cola? Good, now going to buy a bottle. 😀 Don’t drink Coca Cola for a seriously long time. Thanks for reminding 😉

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